Sunday, 16 December 2007


There appears to have been a few discrepancies with the fat lady singing. I thought I heard her. Crystal heard her very loudly indeed. Belle & Swearing Mother don't think they heard her at all. I think I might have heard her if truth be told, but that might have been because I was listening out for her, and got confused. You see in my mind, for an occasion such as this, the fat lady should be a lot like this.

Instead, there appears to have been a crossed wire inside my head, and what I actually got was this.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Beth Ditto; she's a fine figure of a woman. But she's not final, if you see what I mean. She looks like she's, well, you know. Ready for something.

I'm sure you're all very disappointed in me. There appears to have been an error of judgement. I tried to walk away, and I thought I could do it. But I couldn't, it was too hard. I thought that I could just stuff all my feelings so deep that no one would ever get to see them and I'd barely know they were there. I thought we could go back to where we were, before anything happened between us.

I was wrong on all counts.

I could give you a handful of excuses, if that would help? I could tell you it was Christmas? I could tell you I was celebrating? I could tell you that I'd had a bit to drink? All true, but all unnecessary.

I'm a big girl, I made a decision. My motto in life has always been "Never regret the things you do; only regret the things you don't do". So a decision was made. A series of decisions. And every time there was a decision to be made, I made it. Not him, but me.

Where are we now? Haven't a clue. Do I regret it? No, I don't. Will I in the future? Maybe. Not regret so much perhaps, but realise that I could have made a different decision. I can tell you I didn't plan for it to happen. There was no waxing, shaving, or general preparation of any kind. Was I surprised? Maybe a little.

So there we are. Another woman who makes a grand statement, then doesn't stick to it.

It's a funny old business, don't you think?


belle said...

Listen here, my lovely, you are just fab and no one knows the situation like you do. If you're ok with where things are/went/maybe then that's ok with me too. If I do notice the fat lady putting in appearance, I'll be sure to let you know ;o)

Stinking Billy said...

Tina, I have just cut straight across to you (at 7.30am,) after reading your comment on my 'Postcode Blogging'.

I am pleased to be here. You have a great blog up on view today. No bullshit, I mean it. It's compelling reading and I hope things turn out right for you, one way or the other.

aims said...

Just follow your heart - that's all that counts...

Manic Mother Of Five said...

Life is way too short for regrets - Edith Piaf had that one right.... Just don't get your heart broken all over again..... And I still need details - you are being very VAGUE here!

Anonymous said...

You should go with the flow. Don't do anything you might regret at a later date and as you are a big girl, you will know what that is.

Take care,
Crystal xx

Swearing Mother said...

Never say never Tina. You just don't know what may happen next.

Just go with the flow and see what happens.

And bloody well tell us!