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Monday 10 September 2007

I'm So Sorry, My Head Has Just Fallen off

Back to work today. Eventually. I've previously told you about my relationship with my alarm system in the morning. Today, in some kind of giant cosmic joke, it all went horribly wrong. I woke, with the sound of my trumpet fanfare alarm, at 6 this morning. I pressed click, snooze. And snoozed. BUT I DIDN'T PRESS SNOOZE. I PRESSED OFF! OFF! I opened my eyes, aware that there was no trumpet fanfare. And it seemed quite a lot lighter than when I had closed my eyes, just seconds before. BUT IT WASN'T SECONDS. IT WAS HOURS. TWO OF THEM TWO WHOLE HOURS!

This is a disaster. Most especially, because I had to wash my hair, blow dry it nicely, then straighten my hair. It is not a 5 minute job. It was easier when my hair looked like it belonged to Worzel Gummidge. That took less than 5 minutes. Less than 5 seconds, probably. I thought, when I was gasping for breath on the bus, that it would be really embarrassing to tell people in the office that I was late because I'd overslept. I thought I should try something unusual. I've just read a lovely funny post here about making excuses, so I know I can't be the only person that does it. I should maybe give it a go.

'I'm sorry, but the cat was ill.'

'The bus broke down'

'I lost my memory and forgot where I worked'

'Didn't we alter the clocks this weekend?'

'I lost my shoes'

They are all good excuses, I beg your pardon, reasons for being late. But I told the truth.

Telling the truth is meant to be a good thing. Indeed, when I did it, it wasn't too bad.

But the cosmic gods had a little snigger later on.

Damn that honesty.

7 comments:

Stay at home dad said...

Agh, that oversleeping moment... horrible. When I was younger a colleague came in late and said his shoes had exploded on the way to work. I always thought that was a good one.

belle said...

I once overslept until 1pm. I was due to be in college for the day and I was hoping I could slide in after lunch and no-one would have noticed my earlier absence. No such luck. Turns out I'd also slept through three phone calls, two distraught friends banging on the door and a police visit ...

Mid-lifer said...

A curse on that hair straightening palaver. I now have to get up extra early to straighten my daughters hair (She should do it herself says helpful husband). It takes ages and she is soooo persnickety that eventually I crack and start ranting about shaving it all off.

What a lovely start to the day...and then my son whinges about bits of hair sticking up where they aren't supposed to.

Thank goodness I couldn't care less about what I look like!

Mid-lifer said...

Just remembered once me and a friend were so late for school because a ghost had kept us awake all night (it was true but they didn't believe us)

Another time I was late I had gone into a daydream and neglected to get off the bus - I only realised what I had done when I reached the terminus...again, they didn't beleive me. Sigh - truth isn't alays believable.

By the way, thanks for dropping by my blog: one excuse you could make is that you were kept awake all night by an Ange clone! (there are loads of them in our local ASDA).

The Woman who Can said...

SAHD - That is one of the best excuses I've ever heard! Exploding shoes! The possibilities are endless! Thanks for visiting.

Belle - Oh goodness! Its either night terrors or sleep terrors with you, isn't it?!

Midlifer - Lovely of you to drop by! Hair straighteners are the work of the devil, but sadly have become my 'can't do without them' item. I'm saving up all these excuses for the future, you know.

belle said...

Indeed it is, Tina, and I haven't even told you of the time I fell asleep at traffic lights ... on my push bike ... during rush hour ... in London ...!

The Woman who Can said...

Belle, what on earth can I say to that? Please tell me you don't still ride a bike?