The Lady Vanishes

and then returns. For the approximately seven people who read this blog, I apologise profoundly for leaving you with no knowledge of my whereabouts, or idea as to when or if I may be expected to return. Very rude of me, I'm sure.

I have, however, been living the high life for a week in Portugal, and have the bruises to prove it. Both arms, courtesy of the log flume at Zoomarine. (Mummy, can we go on the log flume? Of course we can. Chug, chug, chug, chug, whoosh, splash. Mummy, that was cool! Yes, it was!.....Dear god, I hate log flumes)

I appear to have problems with packing for holidays. I remember that in days gone by, when I was part of a husband/wife relationship, I used to be quite good at packing. Very methodical, very sensible. When my decree absolute came through, I appeared to exchange packing sense for freedom. I still think I got the better deal, but it is a little inconvenient for about an hour every year, when I'm packing.

I like to be prepared for evey eventuality, and assume that I'm travelling to a Third World country, where there will be no shops. At all. This is strange, as I've never been out of Europe on my holidays. And always to touristy places. The nearest I've got to off the beaten track is a single track road instead of a dual carriageway. I take enough clothes with me. Enough to clothe myself 3 times over, and a small family that I may meet and insist on clothing. I do the same for my son, who cannot understand why any person would need more that 1 pair of sandals. He is odd in that way. There is no genetic link on that point.

I am fortunate that my suitcase is not too big, which means that I am limited by its size. I pack in both halves of the suitcase, and then attempt a sort of clam shell snap of the 2 halves, so that I can get it closed. I had to sit on it to get the zip closed. Then I remembered that I couldn't keep lip balm in my hand luggage, because of the very clear terrorist implications of Body Shop Brazil Nut lip balm. I had to undo the zip just a little way, and poke the lip balm in with my fingers. Than I needed my son to sit on the suitcase, as well as me, so that it could be closed again.

I apologise to all of the people who may have expected me to bring them souvenirs from my holiday. I couldn't bring them unless I wore them, and I think you would draw the line at that.