Evening everyone. How have you all been? Been doing anything nice? Good, glad to hear it.
Me? Lovely. Thanks for asking.
Do any of you have any idea how close I was to putting that on the site as my post for today? Really, really close.
But I do love to share.
So, here we go.
Do you know what I have loved about this weekend away?
- He came to pick me up & carried my case to the car without me even having to mime the huffing and puffing.
- We stopped at the Services on the way there for some lunch & he leaned forward & brushed a crumb off my lip.
- We checked into the hotel & he had brought extra coat hangers, & gave them to me.
- We got ready to go out, left the hotel room, him first, then he turned round, looked at me & told me I looked gorgeous.
- As we were in Bath, we watched the rugby on Saturday night, he stood behind me, talking to someone else, but with his hand resting on my hip while he talked.
- He makes me laugh until I cry.
- We tried to see lots of things yesterday but were running out of time & he chose the place I wanted to go to, rather than his choice, which was nearer.
- When I couldn't stop coughing in the night, he leaned over & asked me if I needed some water. I apologised for waking him & he said it wasn't that, he was worried about me.
- He told me that they had taken the word 'gullible' out of the dictionary & then laughed at the look on my face when I asked how could they do that? Was it not still a word?
- He wasn't cross when I beat him at crazy golf & he kissed me when I got a hole in 1. Although he spent a lot of time walking in front of me & I believe I may have heard the words "f**king staggering' on more than one occasion. His handicap is either 9 or 10; mine is that I have no co-ordination & my hair gets in my eyes.
There are lots of things I have loved about this weekend, but it is over now.
So where are we? Don't know, is the honest answer. I asked him. He doesn't know either. It's difficult for him. Complicated.
We have been so close this weekend, & I don't want that to be the end. But it still might be. I want us to move forward, but it's a big step for both of us. And there is no step back, at least not for me. The only other step for me is the step away.
I wanted him to see that I would be worth the risk, but I'm not sure that he does.
So maybe I'm not.
My head thinks it's time to move on; my heart begs to differ.
You see, he's the one.